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THREW IT OUT THE WINDOW

 

Alternate chorus to the lyrics given:

The window, the window,

The second story window

With a heave and a ho

And a mighty blow

we threw it out the window.

 

Verses:

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water

Jack fell down and broke his crown

And threw it out the window

The window, the window, the second story window

Jack fell down and broke his crown and threw it out the window.

Mary had a little lamb,

It’s fleece was white as snow

And everywhere that Mary went

She threw it out the window

The window, the window, the second story window

Everywhere that Mary went she threw it out the window.

Old mother Hubbard went to the cupboard

To fetch her poor dog a bone

But when she got there the cupboard was bare so she

Threw it out the window

The window, the window, the second story window

When she got there the cupboard was bare so she threw it out the window.

Old King Cole was a merry old soul

A merry old soul was he

He called for his pipe and he called for his bowl and threw them out the window

The window, the window, the second story window

He called for his pipe and he called for his bowl and threw them out the window.

Little Jack Horner sat in a corner

Eating his fresh baked pie

He put in his thumb and pulled out a plum and three is out the window

The window, the window, the second story window

He put in his thumb and pulled out a plum and threw it out the window.

Yankee doodle went to town

Riding on a pony

Stuck a feather in his hat and threw is out the window

The window the window, the second story window

He stuck a feather in his hat and threw it out the window.

A tisket, a tasket

A  green and yellow basket

I wrote a letter to my love and threw it out the window

The window, the window, the second story window

I wrote a letter to my love and threw it out the window.

Jack Sprat could eat no fat

His wife could eat no lean

And so between them both they threw it out the window

The window, the window, the second story window

And so between them both they threw it out the window.

Little Bo-Peep has lost her sheep

And doesn’t know where to find them

Leave them alone and when they come home

She’ll throw them out the window

The window, the window, the second story window

And when they come home she’ll throw them out the window.

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet

Eating her curds and whey

When along came a spider who sat down beside her,

She threw it out the window

The window, the window, the second story window

Along came a spider who sat down beside her so She threw it out the window.

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet

Eating her curds and whey

When along came a spider who sat down beside her,

And it threw her out the window

The window, the window, the second story window

Along came a spider who sat down beside and threw her out the window.

 

Eenie, meenie, minie moe

Catch a tiger by it’s toe

If he hollers let him go, then throw it out the window

The window, the window the second story window

If he hollers let him go then throw it out the window.

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick

Jack jump over the candle stick

Jack jump low, jack jump high,

Jack jumped out the window

The window, the window, the second story window

Jack jump low, Jack jump high and jack jumped out the window.

Humpty dumpty sat of a wall

Humpty dumpty had a great fall

All the Kings horses and all the Kings men threw him out the window,

The window, the window, the second story window

All the Kings horses and all the kings men threw him out the window.

I love you, you love me

We are one big family

With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you

We threw Barney out the window

The window, The window, the second story window

With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you we threw Barney out the window.

Peter, Peter pumpkin eater

Had a wife and didn’t’ need her

He put her in a pumpkin shell and threw her out the window

The window, the window, the second story window

He put her in a pumpkin shell and threw her out the window

(I am sure there are more verses)

————————————————————————————————————————–

IT AIN’T GONNA RAIN NO MORE

 

Oh! The night was dark and dreary

The air was full of sleet

The old man stood out in the storm

His shoes were full of feet

Chorus:

Oh! It ain’t gonna rain no more, no more,

It ain’t gonna rain no more,

How the heck can I wash my neck,

If it ain’t gonna rain no more.

I woke up Sunday morning and looked up on the wall

The fleas and bedbugs were playing a game of ball

The score was 3 to nothing, the bedbugs were ahead

The fleas hit a homerun and knocked me out of bed.

Oh! Mosquito he fly high,

Mosquito he fly low,

If old man “Skeeta light on me

He ain’t gonna fly no more.

Oh the butterfly flits on wings of gold,

The June-Bug wings of flame,

The bed-bug has no wings at all,

But he gets there all the same.

Here’s to the chigger who’s not bigger,

Than the head of a very small pin.

But the lump that is raises itches like blazes,

And that’s where the rub comes in.
Saw a black-and-white animal in the woods,

Say ain’t that little cat pretty,

Went right over to pick it up,

But it wasn’t’ that kind of kitty.

When Mr. Noah built the ark,

He said it was his duty,

He saved the birds and beasts and bugs,

But why did he save the cootie?

Oh, of all the fishes in the sea,

My favorite is the bass,

He climbs up in the seaweed trees,

And slides down on his hands and knees.

A peanut sat on a railway track,

His heart was all a flutter,

Along came a choo-choo train,

Toot, toot, peanut butter.

Oh a man lay down by a sewer,

And by a sewer he died.

Now, at the coroner’s request,

They called it sewer-side.

A gold ball sailin’ thru the air,

Whizzed by a man a hummin’.

He heard a caddy holler, “Fore!”

An’ he thought three more were comin’.

“The way to tell the twins apart,”

The proud father said,

“I put my finger in Willie’s mouth,

If he bites it, then it‘s Ned.

When boating, never quarrel,

For you’ll find, without a doubt,

A boat is not the proper place

To have a falling out.

“The coffee is exhausted, sir,”

The diner was advised.

Says he, “It’s been so weak of late,

I’m really not surprised.”

There’s a gal up in the hills

She’s awefully shy and meek,

She undresses in the dark

Because the mountains peek.

 

Mary had a little lamb,

She fed it castor oil.

And everywhere that the little lamb went,

It fertilized the soil.

Mary had a steamboat,

The steamboat had a bell.

Mary went to heaven,

The steamboat went “Toot, toot”.

Mary had a little lamb,

The doctor almost cried.

But when Ol’d MacDonald had a farm

The doctor almost died.

Mary had a little lamb

It’s  fleece was black as soot

And everywhere that Mary went

A sooty foot he put.

Mary is a proper girl,

She goes to church on Sundays.

She prays to the Lord to give her strength,

To chase the boys on Mondays.

Mary had a little lamb

She kept it in a closet

And every time she took it out

It left a small deposit

Mary had a little Lamb

her father shot it dead

Oh, she still takes it off to school

But on a slice of bread

Said baby tern to mother tern.

“Can I have a baby brother.”

“Yes” said mom to baby tern,

“One good turn deserves another”

The rich man drives a Cadillac,

The poor man drives a Ford.

But my old man drives down the road,

Between four wheels and a board.

Oh for a home where the buffalo roam.

Where the deer and the antelope play.

Where seldom is heard a discouraging word,

For what can an antelope say?

My Uncle was a chemist

A chemist he is no more

For what he thought was H2O

Was H-2-S-O-4

My father is a butcher

My mother is a cook

And I’m the little hot-dog

With candy that I took.

My Father built a chimney

He built it up so high

He has to take it down each night

To let the moon go by.

My daddy is doctor

My Mommy is a nurse

And I’m the little needle

That gets you where it hurts.

My father was a Commy

My mother was a spy

And I’m the little snitch

Who told the FBI.

Peter was a rabbit

A rabbit he is no more

For what he thought was a rabbit hole

Was a hole in the out house floor.

————————————————————————————————————————–

HAPPY CAMPER                                                   Notes:

I’m a happy camper, ca camper I will be

But if I weren’t a camper

A Farmer I would be                                                  milking actions

Give Bessie Give

The babies Gotta Live

Arnold Swartzennager I would be

Bi-cepts, Tri-cepts                                           show off muscles

Bottocks, Yah (thumbs up)

An Electrician I would be

Red wire, Blue wire                                        pretend to link wires

This is how we start a fire

A Fencepost I would be

Steps forward and stands there until skit ends

Is usually carried off

A Hippie I would be

Peace, Love

Someone needs a Hug

A Hippie I would be                                                   give peace sign

Peace, Love

Hey man, Don’t Shove

A Policeman I would be

Hand Cuffs, Gun

Look out Hippie, here I come

A Policeman I would be

Here’s my hand cuffs, here’ my gun

Watch out Hippie, here I come

A Girl Scout I would be

Here’s a cookie, Here’s a cookie

Give me Five Bucks

A cheer leader I would be                                          act cute adjusting hair

Go, Go, fight, Fight

Gee I hope I look alright
A (School) bus drive I would be

Swerve, Skid

I think I hit a kid

A (Cub)Scout Master I would be                               wear SM shirt stuffed with a pillow

Nose hair, No hair

Hey, where’s my easy chair?

A (Cub) Scout Master I would be                              wear SM shirt stuffed with a pillow

Look, There’s the Trail, It’s not far

You guys hike I’ll Take the car

A Teenager Driver I would be

Here kitty kitty

Vroom vroom splat

A Plumber I would be

Plunge it, flush it

Look out below

A Bird watcher I would be

Hark, A lark

Flying through the park, splat

Harry Potter I would be

A snitch, a snitch

I’m looking for a snitch

A Snitch I would be                                                   must follow Harry Potter

Ha ha

I’m telling

(Gets chased off stage by Harry Potter)

A Builder I would be

2 by 4

Nail it to the floor

A boxer I would be                                         Should follow someone who bobs down

Upper cut, upper cut

Round house punch

A boy scout I would be                                  follow the cheerleader for a great response

On my Honor, I’ll do my best

Whoa, look at her

A den leader I would be

Do, this, do that

I think I’ll take a nap

A Tree I would be

Steps forward and stands there until the end of the skit

An environmentalist I would be                     follow the tree to have something to hug

Save the fishes, save the whales

Gee I love this tree

A lumberjack I would be                                follow tree to have something to cut down

Chop, chop, Timber

Look out below

A Pilot I would be

Houston

We have a problem

A fireman I would be

Jump, Lady jump

OOOoooh, Splat

A life guard I would be

Save yourself man

I am working on my tan

A statue I would be

Stand in a pose and spit out water

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